Looking Back, Looking Ahead

Twenty seven years ago this morning I had plans to go shopping with my mother. I had a baby due in ten days, but was feeling absolutely fine, not even a twinge of labor about to begin. But I had an early morning doctor appointment. As I recall, it was early enough that I didn’t have breakfast beforehand. I said to my mother, “I’ll be back, have breakfast, and then we’ll go shopping.”

And you know what they say about the best laid plans. They aft gang aglay. The doctor examined me, announced that I was to head to the hospital IMMEDIATELY, and no going home first. And no food for me either. That was the worst part.

By five that afternoon, Caroline had arrived, and nothing was ever the same again.

There had been a time when I couldn’t imagine myself with kids. I had no brothers or sisters of my own and had done only a minimum of babysitting. I didn’t think I knew how to talk to kids. But with Caroline, that was easy. She was a person of worth, with opinions, and expected to be taken seriously. As long as we kept that in mind, everything was fine.

She always has had a unique way of looking at life. Whether it was wise-beyond-her-years observations made when she was little, or whether it was her later travels and exploits, she has colored and broadened my perception of the world in countless ways. I still marvel at her comfort in her own skin, which was apparent very early on.

I never could have imagined any of this the first time I held her.

You have kids, you love them, and they are your family. That’s the predictable course of events. What I didn’t expect was the eternal fascinating-ness of this person I gave birth to, the surprises, the ideas, the depth.

Happy birthday, Caroline!